By: Vickie Hansen


People don’t want to think about death or dying, but eventually all of us will sometime be required to approach a funeral home or funeral director and plan a funeral. Here is some information to help you understand that process.

In recent years, there have been some remarkable changes in the way society thinks about death and the funeral director has changed during that time to meet new needs and to provide new services. 

Today's funeral director is a highly-trained and highly motivated care-giver for his or her community. The funeral director provides counseling on all aspects of grief and loss, offers facilities for the conduct of a meaningful service to commemorate a life, assists in meeting legal and procedural matters that must be dealt with and works with other care-givers to guide the family through the crisis.

Planning a Funeral

The average person may find themselves planning a funeral only once or twice in their entire lifetime. It is perfectly normal to feel a sense of apprehension, uncertainty or even outright fear of this process. Complicating these feelings is the fact that you are probably completing this task at a time of great sadness; someone you love has died.

Your funeral director understands your concerns. He or she is an expert at planning a funeral and is your resource for all information you may need regarding funeral services and related merchandise and is committed to providing compassionate assistance during this difficult time. Your funeral director will give you complete information and education regarding all your options so you can make an informed decision as to which arrangements will best suit your needs, your budget and the life of your loved one. 

Personalization

Regardless of the type of service you select, it should reflect your loved one’s life and make an emotional connection with all those in attendance.

Contemporary thought as it relates to funerals incorporates not only a person’s religious tradition, if any, but also that which allows you to remember your loved one’s hobbies, interests, or a certain quality that made them like no other person. 

If you have attended a funeral recently, you may have seen a collage of photographs, a memorial video, personal items of the deceased on display, special mementos, eulogies from close friends or family, special life tribute ceremonies, balloon releases or any other number of unique tributes. All of this is done to help make the funeral more personal, to illustrate that which was unique about the person’s life, and to help those who have lost someone special begin to heal.

Understanding Cremation

Like burial, cremation is only one element of the funeral process and should be approached that way. When made part of a meaningful funeral service, cremation can play a vital role in the healing journey. Some may feel that by cremating a body, they are somehow eliminating the pain associated with their loss. Cremation is not a way of eliminating your grief, but a process of preparing your loved one for his or her final resting place. Cremation is just one step in the commemorative process – an important step in preparing the remains for memorialization. 

Preplanning a Funeral

More and more people today are choosing to preplan their own or a loved one’s funeral as an alternative to having others make the decisions for them. By planning in advance, you can have peace of mind, knowing your wishes have been made known and the details taken care of. You will also have comfort knowing your family will not have to make funeral arrangement decisions during the difficult time of their initial grief and you will have assurance that informed, thoughtful decisions have been made about the funeral home provider, choice of service and costs. Whether you need additional information, simply want to document your wishes without paying or to arrange and prefund your funeral, your funeral director is ready to provide assistance.

Grief Support

The death of a loved one is perhaps the most difficult and emotionally intense event one can experience. As you struggle to accept the loss, it’s natural to find yourself consumed by powerful, complex and even sometimes conflicting emotions such as pain, fear, sadness and even anger.

First and foremost, please be patient and allow yourself time to grieve. Allow family and friends to provide support; they want to help.

You might want to consider a support group, a safe place comprised of other persons experiencing a loss. You can share your feelings with the group, if you are comfortable, or you can simply choose to sit and listen. Hearing the stories of other group participants can truly serve to normalize your feelings of grief and can be extremely helpful.

Always remember, you are not alone. There are others who understand and are ready to help.

Vickie Hansen is the marketing director for Myers Mortuary located in Ogden, Utah. For more information regarding planning a funeral, getting prepared in advance or if you are seeking a grief support group visit Myers Mortuary, we are the “Funeral Directors Who Care.”

Sources: National Funeral Directors Association - http://www.nfda.org/news/trends-in-funeral-service

Utah Funeral Directors Association - http://www.ufda.org/careers.ph...